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Saturday, April 26, 2014

Happy Birthday Junebug!

Today was the best. We had a birthday party for June and she was surrounded by so many people who love her. Last year we didn't throw a party because she was on ACTH to treat her seizures, which made her immuno-suppressed and very uncomfortable, so this was her big party.

I am happy we are making new, good memories of June’s birthday. Last year June’s birthday was difficult for me not just because June was on ACTH, but also because June’s birthday made me sad.  The night June arrived was so wonderful and then it was followed by the worst day of my life when June didn’t pass the newborn hearing screening. It was the first of many tests that would come back with bad news and more questions.  I left the hospital with our newborn baby girl terrified of what the test meant and no one could give me the reassurance I needed.  So in a way June’s birthday is almost a reminder of a dream that I lost the day after she was born.  But as life unfolds, I’m seeing things are shaping out to be far better than what I could have ever dreamed despite all the hardships we have endured.  We are exactly where we are supposed to be.

Sometimes I imagine talking to myself two years ago as a new mom riding in the backseat of our car sitting next to June as Matt drove us home for the first time. In this image in my mind, I'm whispering in my ear as I hold June's hand, "It will be okay. You will be okay."  That's what I wanted to hear then. I was looking to doctors and family members to tell me that it will be okay and no one could then.  But I can now. It will be okay because you will make it okay.

I could never have imagined the love we feel for June and each second we love her more than the last. I am blessed to be her mommy because she is my teacher on unconditional love, perseverance, and just being present. She is amazing. Here’s to June and new memories of such a wonderful day!!

Oh, and a huge thank you to my sister, Barbara Balossi, and brother-in-law, Matt Balossi, for hosting the get- together as our house is a huge mess since we are getting ready to move to Colorado!  I have so much to update about our trip to Colorado and I am planning to do that this week.

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